Don’t stop talking to a person because she is leaving church. Yes, she’s your church but cutting communication is immature, unloving and foolish. You should continue loving her because Jesus Christ still does.
Be humble. You’re not more special than Jesus Christ. He actually died for the lady leaving the church.
Remember this. No one leaves your church without a good reason. Let that sink. And I’ll repeat: no one leaves your church without a good reason.
It doesn’t matter if you think the reason is stupid. Respect that reason. It’s their reason and it deserves some respect. Is that too much to ask?
So, what should you do when someone is leaving the church?
10 lies about people leaving church most Christians believe
What are the myths that are stopping the love of Christ to flow through his body?
1. People leaving church are backslidden
It’s true they’re some people who left your church as returned to a life of sin. But they’re some who returned to a life of sin and are still paying tithes monthly in your church. Just because someone left your church doesn’t mean they have backslidden.
2. People leaving church are immature
I agree some people who leave your church are immature. Aren’t we all? We all want to grow fruitfully and effectively in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. Leaving your church is not a sign of immaturity – it only means they left your church. Period.
3. People leaving church love sin
I heard someone bragging on a pulpit that they will never stop calling sin ‘sin’ because people are leaving the church. To him, people were leaving the church because he preached against sin. It’s called arrogance. Not everyone who leaves your church does so because they love sin.
4. Your church has the best doctrine
Here is a fact. All churches believe they have the best doctrine. Even Jehovah’s Witnesses, African Apostolic sects or neo-Pentecostals. People don’t leave your church because they love bad doctrine.
5. People leaving church are biblically illiterate
If you think you know the Bible better than people who left your church, you’re probably wrong. People who leave your church and those who stay have the same biblical knowledge. Church-leavers are not always simplistic, ignorant and gullible. Sometimes, they are sophisticated, Bible believing and faithful Christians.
6. People leaving church only seek miracles and wealth
With the advent of health and wealth preachers, many traditional churches are now fighting for survival. But does that mean all the people who left your church want miracles and riches? They are looking for something more than that. Probably not, they’re looking for meaning, satisfaction, and purpose.
7. People leaving church lack commitment
You probably wouldn’t want to hang around someone with commitment problems. No wonder church leavers are shunned like a blind man with an infectious skin disease. But have you ever considered that some people leave your church because they think you lack commitment?
8. People leaving church are mainly young people
You probably read the books and heard the sermons: young people are leaving the church in droves. Young people are unstable, they are not grounded in sound teaching, therefore they go with the wind. That might not be true. Young people leave church like any other demographic group.
9. People leaving church are victims of rationalization
One preacher tried to hammer me on the pulpit because he assumed I believed in evolution. Possessing an advanced degree in biological sciences doesn’t mean I believe in evolution. If I left that church people would have assumed it was because of my education. A college degree doesn’t push someone away from the church.
10. People leaving church are hurt people
Yes, people leave the church because of people. That is normally not the primary reason. It’s a good excuse, that’s all. But you will never know the reason why they left of you shut off all the people who left your church.
Why I left the church
I have been a Christian for exactly 15 years. And in that period I have been a member of at least eight churches. Before you label me a church hopper, listen to my story.
4 times I left a church because I was leaving the town for school or work. Twice, I left the church because I was leaving the country. I loved these churches but I had to leave.
There’s a church I left because I was the only person in his twenties. Everyone else was retired or looking forward to their retirement. The church was good, but it wasn’t for me.
I have only left one church because of some theological differences. I enjoyed the worship, the people were friendly. But I didn’t understand where we were going. So, I did the only sensible thing I could. I left.
But I have friends who left a church because they didn’t feel like the church was sufficiently nourishing them. They wanted to be part of the church they grew in the knowledge of Jesus Christ. And they left the church.
Here’s the thing. We all want to be part of a local church where we experience, explore and express theology. It’s a basic Christian need. And when that need is not met, whether, in truth or perception, people leave.
Instead of shutting off a person who left your church why not show love. You can spend time with them and genuinely ask them these questions:
Are you experiencing, exploring, and expressing sound theology at your new church? In what ways can I help you experience the life of Christ? Are there any areas of your life you need prayer? How can I show you the love of Christ?
Church dropouts don’t need your backbiting, rumors or unwarranted judgments. They need one thing – Christ’s relentless love. Even if they have backslidden, remember the parable of the lost coin, the parable of the lost sheep and the parable of the prodigal son.
You’re your brother’s keeper.